The string walks out and messes up its tassles and walks back in again.
"Hey!" says the bartender, "Aren't you the string that was in here a few moments ago?"
"No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot."
And now something offensive as well as bad:
Q. "Why do they call it PMS?"
A. "Because the name 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."